A British Airways 747-400 was landing at JFK in New York. It was a perfect landing, but the controller decided to have a little fun. He didn't count, though, on the BA pilot being equally quick quick with a comeback. The conversation went something like this...
- Tower : Captain, you landed a little to the left of the center line!
- Speedbird : That is correct, and my first officer landed a little to the right!
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Situational Awareness
A wife reports that her husband, an airline pilot, often has difficulty locating items around the house.
One day he asked where the salt was.
His wife wife responded, "How on earth can you find Heathrow at night in the fog, but you can not find the salt in your own kitchen?"
"Well, darling," he replied sweetly, "no one keeps moving Heathrow around all the time!"
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Words of Wisdom
A good landing is one you can walk away from.
A great landing is one after which you can use the airplane again!
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Welcome to Tucson
After a real crusher of a landing in Tucson, the Flight Attendant came on with;
"Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
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An airline pilot made an extremely hard landing.
As the passengers were disembarking the plane, the pilot stood by the flight deck door with an embarrassed smile on his face.
The last passenger to leave the aircraft was an old lady.
I hope you do not mind Captain, she said, but I have to ask you:
- "Was that a landing or were we shot down?"
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